Tenny
3/15/2002 - 1/28/2017My sweet boy,
You are in Heaven now, and have been there for a little over an hour now. I am certain that you were warmly and happily greeted by the friends you made while you were here in your physical life. I am so grateful that we got to spend your last day together here at home! I got to spoil you most of the day, starting with BK in your breakfast, followed by your usual peanut butter. My cookies with your brother and sister were later. We got to have our final secret kitchen cheese. I debated whether or not to take you for a walk (didn't want to upset your joints, or provoke coughing in your final hours). I ended up going with my gut, and am so glad I chose to! It was lightly snowing (your favorite, I know), and I gave you free reign of where you wanted to go, keeping you safe, of course. However, this was not a structured walk nor was it one with the goal of potty. It was simply fancy free. I watched you sniff every inch of the 3 courts we traveled. Watching you sniff the poles, and do your "boy dog thing" made me smile. You never did that before. I guess you never felt as free as you did today. Knowing the final freedom that was soon to come, I know, gave you that desire and ability. When we got home, more treats; some shared, and some just between us. You gobbled everything with such zest and joy, that part of me wanted to give you everything. Yet, I held back, because still, my instinct was not to indulge you to feeling sick. I watched the clock and did my best to, not allow things to be controlled by time, like my usual nature; but to make the most, and give you as much of a variety of last tastes that I thought you'd like. I still couldn't figure out what to give you for your last last taste - the one you'd have on your tongue as you fell asleep. Right now, I can honestly say that I cannot remember what it was. I hope that I chose the best one. When it was time for Dan to take Breezy upstairs, I kept you and Geddy down with me. While feeding you boys the last of the burger, together, I had the talk with you both together for the last time. I told you over and over how wonderful a Big Brother you've been to Geddy all of his life. I told Geddy that it was now up to him to take all he'd learned from you, and use it for Breezy. I gave you 2 a few moments together, while I put the dish in the kitchen. Then, it was time to take Geddy upstairs. When I came down, you let me hug you, which you hadn't in a very long time. I tried so hard to smile through my tears, but it was really hard. When Dan came down, he took some pictures of us. In fact, he took lots of pictures of us - even while we walked together. You looked so young and happy, even from behind, like you had a kind of spring in your step. When it was just you, Dan, and me in the living room, I sat on the floor, and placed ropy, Frisbee, and Flat Ellie on the floor to see if you wanted to play one last time. To my surprise, you chose Frisbee. Even more surprising was that you chose to play just like we did 3 years ago, when your body was less broken. In fact, you were just finishing when Dr. Bill arrived. You treated him exactly like you treated everyone who came over, with barking, and extensive sniffing of him and his bag. You had no idea.why he was here. Nor did you seem to care. He was extremely nice, and greeted all of us warmly and kindly. His voice was soft and full of empathy. He asked me if I knew what was going to happen, and proceeded to explain the process. He reassured us that we would not be rushed, and we were the ones who said when we were ready for your final sleep. As per your prior reaction, you were not pleased with me gently holding you close. You kept trying to get up to run around. I'm pretty sure you were ready to resume our earlier play. But, it was time to go to sleep. The first injection startled you, and you cried and jumped in my arms. I held you close and tried to comfort you as best as I could..."It's OK, baby...It's OK..." I repeatedly breathed into your fur. "It's OK...I love you." When you stilled, and your protesting began to cease, I looked into your eyes, through cascading tears, as I held you in my lap. I felt your body relax, like I never had before. I couldn't breathe. It was a foreign feeling, and I kept waiting for you to jump up, and start fighting my hold. When you didn't, and your eyes just stared ahead lifelessly, I knew it was time for the final step. You felt ready. My mind knew it had to happen, my heart didn't want to ever let go. I was able to squeak out a barely audible "OK." Dr. Bill quietly let us know that you were finally at peace. I cannot recall his exact words, but they were perfect, and his delivery could not have been more appropriate to the somber moment. I couldn't open my eyes through my tears to look at you in this foreign state. When I finally did, it was as if I was looking at you for the first time. I realized that I never stopped stroking your fur the whole time you were in my lap. I don't think I felt your last heart beat, or heard your final breath, but my heart knew exactly when you reached your peace, where your breath would no longer be labored; you'd never cough again. I was barely aware of Dan behind me, telling me, through his own tears, that it was "OK" and that Tenny was "finally at peace." Dr. Bill asked permission to make a mold of your paw as a keepsake. I nodded. It turned out beautiful. He, then, said that he'd give us some private time with you while he went to his vehicle to get the basket to carry you in. Again, I managed a faint nod. His delivery of everything was wonderful. During that time, I did not say anything. I never say "Good Bye," yet I couldn't manage anything else. I have no idea how long I held you. Part of it felt like hours; part felt like minutes. Not once did I feel rushed to part with your body...your precious body. Though I rationally knew that your spirit flew out immediately when you breathed your last, my heart still saw you as whole and complete. I wasn't, and still am not (though I'm writing this), ready to part with that thought. I asked for a lock of your fur, and he said that he'd be more than happy to accommodate me. Along with an extra for Tenny's lifelong groomer. He told me that I was the first person to request that memento. Without sounding morbid, I wanted part of all of you. It didn't feel like your paw print and a clipping of fur was "enough." I knew that your ashes would be part of our home in due time. But they wouldn't look like you. They wouldn't feel or sound like you. They wouldn't let me hear your voice, in spite of the videos that have it on them. I'd never get to kiss you again, nor would I get a face full or handful of your sweet kisses. Again, I had no idea how long I was petting you, nor did I feel rushed. Finally, I said, mostly to you, but also to Dr. Bill, "You'd better take him now, because I don't think I can stop petting him." His look let me know that he understood. He gently removed your harness and gave it to me. I wrapped it around my arm, and still haven't removed it. I watched him gently and lovingly lay you in the basket. I didn't want to look, but I made myself. It was like I was in a dream. I couldn't, and still can't, believe it was you. He didn't rush out the door with you. He didn't make me stand up to see him out, because I couldn't. I sat crumpled on the floor exactly where I'd just held you. He held my hand in both of his and told me to feel free to call him any time to talk about anything. He said I could tell stories about you, cry, or 'complain about the Eagles.' I know he was trying to be sweet, and I tried to smile. I wish I could, but you're gone. Though Dan, Geddy, and Breezy are here, which is a comfort, they aren't YOU. No one will ever be YOU. You cannot be replaced by anyone, no matter how much I love them. I have always loved all of you differently. You're all special to me, but in different ways. Tomorrow, and for the rest of my life,part of me will be empty, and I'll feel alone. I love you forever and ever. Amen. <3 <3
Kim leinadbethlehem, PennsylvaniaJanuary 29, 2017
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Sending love and prayers.. Stay strong.. it's not easy losing someone so loved in your family.
Many hugs... xoxo
Kelky Jensen - January 31, 2017
I remember when we reconnected on FB, years after college (about 8 years ago), I met Tenny - intrigued by his name, of course. He was so friendly and full of life and during the next several years, I got to spend time with him and the other furry family members. I cannot think of another human being who loved a pet more. You, BEFRI, gave that dog an amazing life. Know that in your heart and carry him with you.
xo
Adrienne (STENDy) Hahn - January 31, 2017
{{hugs}}Carrie Smith - January 31, 2017
Peaceful sleep sweet Tenny.Diane Zimbardi - January 31, 2017
Sweet Tenny - you were so well loved. I pray you are chasing rabbits all over the heavenly kingdom!!Melissa Slayton - January 31, 2017
you are always in our hearts, you were such a good boy that I know you are resting peacefullyDANIEL LEINAD - January 31, 2017
My deepest condolences to you dear friend...
Sending prayers for peace, comfort and lots of love.
Lisa Maldonado - January 31, 2017
Love to youArthur Omberg - January 30, 2017
The heart remembers most what it has loved best. May fond memories comfort you and bring you peace.
Please accept my most heartfelt sympathies for the loss of Tenny. My thoughts are with you.
~ Michelle Leo
Michelle Leo - January 30, 2017
Thinking of you and sending prayers...Tenny is at peace and in Gods loving hands. He had a wonderful life on earth and now can watch over you from heaven. Sending love and prayers for peace and comfort during this difficult time.Karen Kirst - January 30, 2017
In memory of your beloved Tenny!Julia O'Reilly - January 30, 2017
Dear Tenny,

While I never met you personally, you know your mom....EVERYONE knew you through her words. Your sweet ways, your fun personality, your love for your brother Geddy and sister Breezy were legendary. The fact that your mom loved you as much as she did made it clear to me just how special you must have been. Now you've crossed the rainbow bridge and your family is understandably devastated by your loss. After you have a quick frolic in the sun, running and playing as you did when you were younger, please remember to send some signs to mom that you're ok and looking out for her. She misses you so very much. As you already know she has the biggest heart, so we're all trying to help mend it by letting her know you are watching over her and Dan and your brother and sister. Don't worry though, all of mom's family and friends are there for her, too. I hope you are happy and pain free now. Know you've made an indelible impression on so many people. Sending you love and light.
Kyron Arambula - January 30, 2017
You have the best mommy Tenny and she loves you soo much. Animals don't know their length of life, but only their quality and I have to say...you had quality. You will be a missed pup. Lighting a candle for you and mommy.Patricia Brower - January 30, 2017
I love you and miss you, baby. Hope you're enjoying your new friends in Heaven!kim leinad - January 30, 2017
Thanks for making Kim so happy! Rest in peace little puppy. xoxShelli Cole - January 30, 2017
Tenny, you will meet our beloved Pinoke and Isabelle in heaven...they are sweet cars and will be your friend eternally. r st in peace! I hopeAl Gordon - January 30, 2017
Love to you during this difficult time. Your puppy was sure lucky to have you as a Mom. My heart goes out to you and your family during this time.. Cherish the sweet memories❤️❤️❤️Tami Givens - January 30, 2017
Dear Kim and Dan, and Geddy and Breezy too,

I am so sorry you had to say goodbye to Tenny. My heart goes out to all of you. Kim, I know how much you are hurting right now and it brought tears to my eyes in reading your message of your last moments with Tenny. I hope the comforting words of friends and family and the beautiful memories you will forever hold dear to your heart of your beautiful Tenny will help you through this difficult time. Please know that I said a little prayer for you today. With sincere Sympathy,
Suzanne.
Suzanne Holup - January 30, 2017
Sending so much love to the best four legged in the world!!!!!!Kris miller - January 30, 2017
Good bye sweet Tennison. We love you and you will always be remembered as part of our family. You and Matthew have a special tie because Kim and I brought you two into the family around the same time. I will never forget that and I will never forget you sweet boy. Rest in peace now and wait for your mommy.Melissa Scott - January 30, 2017
I know Tenny felt your love from the first time you held him in your arms until his final heartbeat.Janet Waxmonsky - January 30, 2017
You will be greatly missed, Tenny! You were such a sweet dog and I know you lived the best life! Our thoughts and prayers are with you all.

Love,

Katey, Tony, Molly, Niko
Katey Russo - January 30, 2017
I am very sorry for you loss. I had the pleasure of meeting Tenny and the opportunity to photograph him. He was fun and had such a beautiful face that I fell in love with one of the images I took. My deepest condolences to you and your family!Tracee Cosner - January 30, 2017

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