Cooper
8/13/2007 - 7/4/2019Dear Cooper,
It's been seven days, but the pain and sadness I have in my heart remains fresh. You trusted us, and while we always did everything to protect you, we failed you; we dropped the ball, and we we will live with that regret for the rest of our lives. We are so sorry that we pushed you, that we didn't listen to you, and that we were ultimately in denial about how much pain you really were in. We shouldn't have taken you on this family trip. We should have packed your medicine. We should have contacted a vet earlier. We should have picked you up earlier. We should have held you more. Your unconditional love blinded us from the reality of your situation, rather than teach us to give you unconditional love back. We miss you terribly, including baby Harper who still says 'bye bye' to you when we leave the house or 'night night' before she goes to bed. I would be lying if I didn't admit that I don't miss coming home from work and having to pick up your poop off the floor or wipe the pee that didn't make it on to the wee wee pad. But the truth is that I would do that every day..every hour if that meant you were still here.

The nights are the hardest for me. When Harper is asleep and while David is at work, it was always just me and you. I never felt alone. I miss seeing you waiting at the foot of the stairs. I miss seeing you behind me when I'm washing the dishes, or seeing you waiting at the top of the stairs after I get back from working out. I try to trick myself into thinking that you're just lying down on the bed or stuck on the couch or sitting on a pile of unfolded laundry, and then I realize you're just really not here and then I cry.

I have never wanted to turn the clock back like I do at this very moment. You were with us during the toughest parts - commuting to Boston when David and I were long distance, moving from apartment to apartment to house, and no longer being our one and only when Harper was born. This was supposed to be your well deserved golden years.

Cooper, I am so sorry. Cooper, I love you so much. Cooper, bye bye.
Jenny Kim-LeeOradell, New JerseyJuly 11, 2019
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Cooper knows that you loved him and would have never done anything but the best for him. Please don't beat yourself up because he wouldn't want you to. My sister told me that it's normal to look back and feel guilty about things but I know it's hard not to. There are so many more good memories to think about. Try to remember the good times because that's what he's thinking about right now.Melissa Lee - July 12, 2019

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