The grief we feel after a pet’s passing is unlike any other, and can isolate us from the rest of the world. Finding a community can provide the comfort, strength, and companionship you need to honor your pet’s life and move forward in their memory.

The profound power and peace that is found in others’ company is illustrated in this real-life story of Alicia and Samantha, two perfect strangers who met in a Lap of Love Pet Loss Support Group and found unexpected friendship and new four-legged love.

Endings and beginnings

Alicia and Samantha’s story begins with two heartbreaking endings. Both describe their dogs, Lola and Lilo, as the love of their life.

* Alicia and Lola - Alicia adopted Lola as a puppy in 2011. After 11 years of love and laughter, Lola’s spry and healthy body suddenly became sick and unwell. Lola underwent six long weeks of hospital stays, surgeries, and treatments, sustained by her enduring spirit and Alicia’s unwavering hope. Still, she showed no sign of improvement, and Alicia resigned herself to the inevitable. “I lovingly said goodbye to Lola on July 25, 2022,” she said. Alicia says the grief after Lola’s passing was oppressive and all-consuming, “I was desperate to be with people who understood the pain I was experiencing,” she says. At her primary veterinarian’s urging, Alicia enrolled in the Lap of Love Pet Loss Support Group. Nine days after Lola’s passing, Alicia summoned the courage to join the live call with little expectation that she’d find help.

* Samantha and Lilo - Samantha met and adopted Lilo, a 2 year-old pitbull, in 2018. “We quickly became a bonded pair,” Samantha says. But, only four short years later, Lilo developed a suspicious cough. Despite Lilo receiving the best diagnostics and treatments over the next six weeks, she passed away on July 25, 2022, and, Samantha says, she lost a piece of her heart. “My world was shattered,” Samantha says. “I didn’t know which way was up.” Nine days after Lilo’s death, Samantha set one small goal for herself—“getting myself into the Lap of Love Pet Loss Support Group Zoom call,” which had been recommended by her veterinarian. “I didn’t really know what to expect. I just hoped it would bring me comfort to be with others who knew my grief.”

Parallel paths

At the meeting’s end, the moderator invited attendees to share whatever was on their minds. After the obligatory nervous silence, Alicia turned on her camera, took a deep breath, and shared Lola’s story with the group.

Listening behind her switched off camera, Samantha was moved by the similarities of her journey with Lilo and Alicia’s with Lola. Both dogs had become ill in late June and had passed away on the same day despite numerous attempts to save them. Samantha felt compelled to share her story, but stopped short of turning on her camera because the group felt too big and intimidating. Instead, she messaged Alicia privately about meeting one-on-one.

That message sparked regular virtual meetings when Alicia and Samantha talked for hours about Lola and Lilo, providing each other with much-needed comfort and support during the first few months after their pets’ passing. Over time, the conversations turned to other topics, signaling an evolution from sharing grief to sharing friendship.

Nice to meet you, times two

In January 2023,  Samantha traveled from North Carolina to Ohio to meet Alicia for the first time. But Alicia was not the only new friend Samantha met—in August 2022, Alicia had adopted Penelope, who had helped ease her grief after Lola’s passing.

Alicia was eager to share the healing and joy that only a dog could provide and proposed visiting the local animal shelter during their week together. Although Samantha was reluctant, she couldn’t deny the love and peace that Penelope had brought Alicia, and she agreed. On the drive to the shelter, the pair joked that Samantha’s trip home would look quite different if she found another unexpected friendship.

Fittingly, with Alicia by her side—and the memories of Lilo and Lola in their hearts—Samantha found her next love at the shelter that day, a young pitbull mix she named “Poe.” 

Moving forward, together

Six months later, in July 2023, Samantha and Poe reunited with Alicia and Penelope for a week-long visit. Of course, this wasn’t any ordinary week. This was the anniversary of Lilo and Lola’s passing. But, Alicia and Samantha did not need to wrestle with the return of their grief. Instead, they celebrated their past and present dogs and their unexpected friendship—one found in the most unlikely place, forged in the worst possible circumstances, but now flourishing with shared experiences and four-legged love.

Alicia and Samantha thank Lilo, Lola, and Lap of Love for bringing them together and helping them find, in their words, a “bright and shiny silver lining in the darkest of clouds.”

If you’re struggling with grief, guilt, or other difficult emotions after losing a pet, know you are not alone. Lap of Love invites you to attend our free virtual Pet Loss Support Group.

Visit our Pet Loss Support page to reserve your spot in one of our free group sessions and explore our pet loss resources.