If we're fortunate, our beloved pets will have long and healthy lives, but unfortunately, their time on Earth must end eventually. It can be challenging when you have a pet who is geriatric or terminally ill, as the sadness and heartache can begin long before they pass away. 

This type of grief is called anticipatory grief, and it brings its own set of challenges. You are aware that your pet's remaining time with you is limited, whether it's months, weeks, or even days, so it may hit you all at once when the vet delivers a terminal diagnosis or gradually as you notice your senior cat struggling to climb the stairs or your elderly dog losing their hearing. Anticipatory grief is emotionally draining because there is no specific timeline, and you are unsure of what the future holds. You may find yourself asking the following questions: 

* Is my pet in pain?

* How much time do we have together?

* Why didn't I recognize the signs earlier?

* Was there a way to prevent this?

* When is the appropriate time to say goodbye?

* Am I making the best choices for my pet?

* What if I hold on for too long?

* What if I let go too soon?

It is common for pet owners to experience feelings of worry and sadness when their beloved furry friend becomes terminally ill or reaches old age. Taking care of another living being becomes an even heavier responsibility when you must make plans for the end of your pet's life.

It’s natural to want to make the most of every moment and allow your pet to experience as much joy as possible during their final days. However, you may also feel overwhelmed as you anticipate the inevitable loss. It is a conflicting emotion that can leave you feeling scared and sorrowful, even as others encourage you to cherish the remaining time with your furry friend. So, it may be helpful to implement some strategies to cope with anticipatory grief.

Allow Yourself to Feel

It may seem strange to grieve while your animal companion is still by your side. However, anticipatory grief serves an essential purpose in helping us prepare for the eventual loss of a loved one. You have every right to feel a range of emotions— anger, fear, sadness—and to accept that the end is near. Your pet, who you adore, is dying, and it's natural to grieve their impending departure.

Ask For Help 

Taking care of a pet that is terminally ill or elderly can be draining. You may have to follow a strict medication schedule and clean up after accidents in the house. Your pet may also become restless and vocal at night, especially if they are experiencing cognitive issues due to old age. In addition, you will likely have to make frequent trips to the veterinarian for check-ups and treatments. These situations can be challenging, but it's essential to ask for help from friends and family if possible. They can provide practical and emotional support during this difficult time.

Plan Ahead

As your beloved pet approaches the end of their life, it's important to plan ahead. Some may shower their pet with extra treats and special outings to create cherished memories in their final days. 

Conversing with your veterinarian about end-of-life decisions may also be helpful. Consider arrangements such as in-home euthanasia or deciding on burial/cremation preferences. Preparing in advance can bring some peace during this difficult time.

Talk to your Vet

While we all hope our pet passes away peacefully in their sleep at a ripe old age, this rarely happens. In many cases, euthanasia is the most compassionate and merciful choice to prevent unnecessary pain and suffering. However, determining when to bid farewell can cause significant anxiety for pet parents. 

If this concerns you, don't hesitate to discuss it with your veterinarian beforehand. They are there to advocate for your pet's well-being and may have a better understanding of when euthanasia is the kindest option. Having this support system in place can provide a sense of comfort and reassurance. And even if your veterinarian determines it’s not yet time to say goodbye, their reassurance can make a big difference in easing your worries.

Create Memories

Many people struggle with taking photos of their senior or sick pet because they don't want their final memories to be tainted by their pet's illness. This is a valid concern; however, other ways exist to create memories, like making a “bucket list” of activities to do with your beloved pet to cherish your time together.

One Day at a Time

Take each day as it comes, just like you would with a human loved one who is elderly or terminally ill. There will be good days and bad days for both you and your pet. 

While anticipatory grief is unique to each person, and there’s no set timeline or rules for how it should look, it’s a normal part of loving a pet and not wanting to imagine life without them. Remember that you are not alone in this experience. Seek out others who can provide understanding and support. You can also check out our pet loss support page for additional information on Anticipatory Grief and our Pet Loss Support Groups.