A beloved pet’s passing is difficult to bear, and you may turn to a new pet to help ease your grief. However, well-meaning family and friends may say you should not consider getting a new pet so soon, and you should take the appropriate time to grieve first. But, what is considered the “appropriate” amount of time for grieving the loss of a cherished companion? Some people wait only days to weeks to bring home a new pet because they can’t bear to be without a furry companion, while others may declare they will never get another pet. There is no right or wrong answer, and the decision is highly personal. However, some guidelines may help you make the decision that’s right for you. Follow this advice to help you determine if you’re ready for a new pet, and to prepare you for that next step.  

#1: Take the time to grieve the loss of your pet

Grieving is a normal, natural process that should not be skipped. Avoid tamping down your emotions over your pet’s passing, and instead, pass through all the grief stages. Take the time to experience feeling sad, lonely, or angry. You may actually feel relieved, which is perfectly acceptable, especially if you’ve been managing your pet’s difficult chronic condition for a long time. Avoid getting a new pet to try to immediately fill the void left behind by your pet’s passing until you have processed your feelings. You may end up projecting negative feelings onto your new pet or have unreasonable expectations about their behavior and personality. Instead, wait until you feel a sense of peace about your previous pet's death.

#2: Consider your household’s feelings and grieving process

Each family member will grieve differently and follow their own grief schedule, including your remaining pets, who can experience grief and sadness when a housemate passes away. Bringing home a new pet before everyone is on board with the idea can cause serious emotional distress. Meet as a family to discuss everyone’s thoughts and feelings about a new pet, and to openly share grieving processes. Monitor your other pets for grief signs, such as a decreased appetite, lethargy, and personality changes. Once your pets seem to have recovered from the loss, and your family has passed into the acceptance grief stage, you may consider a new pet.

#3: Think about your plans and goals

A pet can put a damper on your plans, especially if they require significant nursing care because of an advanced medical condition. Caring for a senior pet or one with a terminal illness can be costly and time-consuming, and may preclude certain aspirations. If your pet passes, don’t feel guilty about choosing to pursue goals that you had placed on the back burner. Instead, plan that extended vacation, go back to school, or remodel your home before bringing home a new pet.

#4: Consider the responsibilities with a new pet

Are you ready for a different set of responsibilities that may come with a new pet, particularly if you get a puppy or kitten? Different exercise, training, and care requirements may not be something you’re prepared for after your pet’s passing, so think carefully before adding a new pet to your home.

#5: Determine the type of new pet who will best fit your family

Before rushing out to fill the empty pet bed, discuss what pet type will best fit in with your family. Now may be the perfect time to welcome home a rambunctious puppy who is full of life and energy, or you may prefer saving a senior pet from an animal shelter. Decide as a family what pet type will fit your current situation.

Everyone copes with grief differently, and there are no rules regarding getting a new pet after your current companion passes. Do what feels right for you and your family, and turn to our pet loss support for guidance during this difficult transition. We can offer resources on pet loss and coping with grief, and help shoulder your emotional burden.