The owner-pet relationship is deeper and more complex than ever before. While this can lead to a beautiful life together, the special bond can also contribute to caregiver burden—a condition of stress and poor health that may develop when a chronically ill pet needs long-term care. Identifying, treating, and preventing caregiver burden is crucial because your pet depends on you, but you cannot care for them without first caring for yourself.

How caregiver burden happens to pet owners

Caring for pets with chronic illness may be manageable initially, but sick pets often require additional assistance as their condition progresses. That increasing level of care may require special skills, an exact schedule, and extra appointments, demanding more and more of the owner’s time. Finances may be strained to accommodate new therapies, and relationships with family and friends may suffer as the owner’s days and nights are preoccupied with their pet’s needs. Owners may lose sleep and stop exercising because they let maintaining their pet’s health supersede their own. Yet, all the while, they may still feel guilty that they are not doing enough for their pet.

Recognizing pet caregiver burden

When a pet owner focuses solely on their beloved pet’s wellbeing, they may forget to consider their own. Pay close attention to your thoughts and actions, and watch for the following signs:

* Constant worry

* Feeling overwhelmed

* Fatigue

* Excessive or inadequate sleep

* Irritability or anger

* Immense sadness

* Loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities

* Frequent headaches or physical pain

* Abuse of alcohol or drugs, including prescription drugs

Owners must dismiss any presumption that their choices and care will directly decide their pet's life or death. These incorrect beliefs will become a heavy burden of unhealthy and inappropriate guilt and blame. The caregiver burden becomes a cycle of self-denial and guilt, leading to anxiety and depression. 

Learn how to prevent pet caregiver burden

Caring for a chronically ill pet can quickly drain your physical, emotional, and financial resources, and knowing when to stop and reevaluate can be difficult. Put safeguards in place early on in your pet’s illness, to prioritize your pet’s and your own health. Implement these steps to remain in control:

* Recognize that you are doing enough — Let go of things you cannot control. You did not cause your pet’s sickness, you are not responsible for finding a cure, and you are doing the best you can for your pet. Your best is enough.

* Understand your pet's condition — Trust your veterinarian to provide you with the information you need, an honest prognosis, and realistic expectations. Internet research will likely be misleading or provide false hope or fear. Speak with your veterinarian regularly about your pet’s status.

* Ask for help — Caregiving is emotionally and physically exhausting. Reach out to your family and friends and discuss how you feel. Do not isolate or disconnect yourself.

* Reach out to fellow pet lovers — Join an online support group for owners of pets with similar conditions.

* Take a break — Leave your pet with a trusted friend, family member, or a veterinary boarding facility, and get away for a night. You will likely have a more difficult time with this than your pet.

* Maintain your routine and activities you enjoy — This is important for your mental health, but is often the first thing to go in times of stress.

* Stay in the moment — Cherish the here and now with your pet. While trying not to think about the future or saying your final goodbye is hard, stay positive for your pet, and make happy memories now.

* Define your limits — Before you lose objectivity, set limitations on your pet’s care. Some owners prefer to set financial limits, while others look at the subjective quality of life measures (e.g., their pet’s favorite activities). Stick to the measure you choose, so you can make the fairest and most humane decision for your pet and yourself.

Use assessment tools to make objective decisions about your pet's health 

Determining your pet's quality of life can feel impossible. You may be motivated by your sense of responsibility, or guilt, to continue seeking treatments and medications, and to care for your pet well past the time any improvement is possible. Tools such as our quality of life scale and daily assessment will assign a numerical grade to your pet’s wellbeing and can help guide difficult decisions. Our telehospice service can connect you to a Lap of Love veterinarian for a personalized review of your pet's condition, as well as compassionate recommendations.