Kelso (fuzzie) Garcia
9/4/2006 - 7/28/2020Kelso “Fuzzie” Garcia
My hardest goodbye.
9/4/06 - 7/28/20♥️

“Just look inside my heart, you’ll cry.” 💔

Almost 14 years ago, a cream color little ball of fluff came into my life. I knew when I picked him up, he was the one. I knew I’d love him, I just didn’t know at the time how deeply. I didn’t know how much I’d depend on him. How much hugging him and kissing him meant to me. How just seeing his face made me smile. So many precious moments I’ll carry in my heart.
He’d hear me stirring, waking up in the morning, he’d jump up on my side of the bed and lay his head on me. I had to hold his paw when we were in the car driving and he’d curl his paw into my hand, like he was trying to “hold” my hand too. Hundreds of times I’d talk to him, he was a great listener. When he was sleeping, if I spoke to him, I could see the corners of his mouth turn up and he’d smile. I could see the “concern” on his face when he knew I was sad or upset. He became my “anxiety dog” after my sisters sudden death. How much I’d cherish every moment we spent together. It calmed me just having him with me. How much better my life has been with him in it. I never could’ve imagined, when I picked up that cream color ball of fluff that day, he’d change my life forever.
He had so much energy. He was a big fluffy ball of happy, all the time. He had a smile that would make you smile, even on your worst day. The sweetest disposition of any dog anywhere. A heart of pure gold. My best friend. My heartbeat at my feet. Irreplaceable. I honestly can’t remember my life before he was part of it. I can’t imagine how my life will be now that he’s gone. The giant, empty, aching hole that’s left in my heart and life. The hundreds of moments, every single day, that he was part of. They’re empty now. He was with me every moment I was at home. Every room I was in, he was there too. He slept with me, in my room, every night for almost 14 years. The greeting from him every time I came home. I could be gone 12 hours or only 20 minutes, he was excited to see me no matter how long I was gone. He’d howl because his mouth was stuffed with toys, his tail wagging hitting the door, my husband would open the door and Kels ran to my drivers side door with his toy, to say “hi, I’ve missed you, thank goodness your home!” Every night, I’d hear the jingle of his collar when we were sleeping. I’d know exactly where he was in my room. Next to me, flipped on his back against the bathtub, on his bed, or in front of the closet door. When I’d be getting ready in the morning, he’d jump up with his big front feet on the bathroom counter and slurp water from the faucet. He followed me everywhere. He’d always stop when he and I started walking out of a room, pause and look back at me to make sure I was right behind him. He’d do the same thing when we came in from outside. The look on his face when I told him “we’re going to be very busy today”. He just knew it was going to be a fun day, full of adventure. When I’d ask him “are you ready?”, he’d go get his leash because he knew we were going someplace fun. I’ll never forget my daughter and I taking Kels and Norman to FiveGuys for burgers! Norman wasn’t thrilled but Kels loved it! Or how Kels grabbed my daughters quesadilla off her plate! She didn’t appreciate it, but I had to laugh! He gave me thousands of smiles. He knew the difference between my alarm and my husband’s, if it was my husband’s, he’d lift his head, then lay back down knowing we could sleep in that day. My alarm, he knew we were up and at ‘em! The trips to Barton Springs in TX to swim, the first time he played in snow at my moms in TX. He loved it, carried his leash around all day, like “c’mon, it’s the best playground ever!” He loved our visits to our cabin in Blue Ridge. He loved shuffling the fall leaves with his feet when we walked at our cabin. He’d always get jealous when my husband hugged me and he’d shove himself between us. He loved pizza crust, white cheddar popcorn and his “birthday steak dinners”.
If you met him, you’d love him. Everybody’s friend. A “living hug”. My neighbor always said, “he’s the happiest dog I’ve ever seen”. He was.
As the years went by, as expected, he started to slow down. I’d try not to notice his face turning grey, or his birthday’s becoming “double digits”. The panic of finding a “new bump or lump” on him, praying it wouldn’t be serious. In July 2019, sadly, a lump became serious. Agonizing how to move forward, trying to keep “his” best interest in mind, not allowing my “heart” to cloud my decisions regarding his health, we continued onward with love, hopes, prayers and medications.
A few months ago, I could see his health deteriorating. It was heartbreaking to watch. Physically he was declining, mentally he was still a puppy at heart. That never changed, his mind was clear until the end. This 107 pound fluffy, happy, goofy, loving, loyal, sweet boy was starting to go down the path we all fear. I did my best, as always, to give him anything and everything he needed. Cooked for him, vet checks, meds, picked him up to help him stand when he needed it, bought dog socks with rubber bottoms, so he wouldn’t slide on the tile, got a harness with handles to help him in and out if the truck. And of course, lots of hugs and I love you’s. Anything and everything I could think of to help him stay safe and comfortable. He still continued to deteriorate. I couldn’t stop that “train” that was coming. We would hand feed him. Bring him bowls of water. Lift him more and more to help him stand up. I’d frequently sit with him under a tree or on the floor. Just spending time. I was dreading what I knew was happening. I was losing my best friend. It’s been one of the hardest times of my life watching this happening to him, knowing I couldn’t stop it.
I’ve read and I’ve been told by a friend, it’s important not only to give your aging pet the love and care they need, it’s also important to “talk” to them near the “end”. Tell them how much they mean to you and that when it’s “time”- tell them it’s “ok to go”. I’ve talked to him several times the past few weeks reminding him how much he means to me. I’ve told him how much I love him. How much I’ll miss him. How grateful I am he’s been in my life. How much he’s made my life better. How he’s been the BEST dog and BEST friend to me. I told him he can’t be any more to me because he already means the world to me. The words I COULDN’T say to him was, “it’s ok to go.” I know we’re supposed to let them know it’s ok, we’ll be ok if they go. It’s not ok. I’m not ok. I couldn’t say “those words” to him. I thought about what I could say. I told him I don’t want him hurting or suffering. I’ll always need him and love him, and if he’s hurting, if he’s too tired to keep going, when that time comes, he needs to “go find Norman♥️”. I also told him, when it’s my time, I’ll find them both.
I’ll always love my golden boy, I’ll miss him everyday forever and always. He is and always will be, the four-legged love of my life. ♥️K♥️E♥️L♥️S♥️O♥️
Michele GarciaCape Coral, FloridaJuly 29, 2020
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Our house is sad without you. My heart is sad without you. I miss and love you so much. ♥️💔♥️Michele Garcia - August 9, 2020
I miss my friend. I wish you were here. Thanks for always sharing your food with me. I don’t really understand where you are and I miss you. ♥️Kook Santacroce - August 4, 2020
Kels:

We will always remember, love and miss you. There will be many adjustments that will need to be made in the future due to your passing. Nothing and nobody can replace you. You were always the rainbow at the end of the storm and the light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you for being such an important part of our family.

Love, Granny

PS: Please say "Hi" to Norman! He's been waiting for you! And tell him that we miss him too!
Alice Winslow - July 30, 2020
I miss you so much my heart hurts.💔 I love you Fuzz.♥️Michele Garcia - July 30, 2020

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